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Then again, you may — but wait until you get a vibe of what is allowed or better yet, ask before doing something that might get frowned upon by staffers and management concerned with keeping their lease a reasonable fear all leather bars face with the ever-growing threat of gentrification wiping them out. DO wait until after a kink demonstration to barrage the demonstrator with questions. Most of the hanky code is lost to antiquity. They were taken mostly at the Seattle Eagle, but some are from leather and kink events, like the yearly IML in Chicago. I was filled with questions — so was everyone else. They spilled out the front and back entrances onto both porches, into the parking lot, down the sidewalk and around the block — men in various states of dress and undress. Come as you are.

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This is the fine line between consensual sex play and assault.

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35 DOs and DON'Ts of a Gay Leather Bar

Most were gay men, but some femdoms female dominants were in attendance. In these spaces, you waive a degree of consent by entering them, and consensually submit yourself to being touched by people you cannot see. A coat check is better, and regardless what you do, you should keep your valuables phone, wallet, keys on your person, but there are ways to have fun sans-check. A harness will probably be the first piece of fetish gear you buy — the foundational building block on which most fetish looks start. We made eye contact, he came in close. I was filled with questions — so was everyone else.

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In many cities, the local leather bar is the last vestige of a public kink community, the last haven for sexual deviants, people who want and enjoy more than simple, vanilla sex with the lights on at the foot of the bed. Other kinksters will be there, some with more experience than you, some with less. Many newcomers start as submissives, learn the ropes, then try dominance. Last Pride, the outdoor deck of my local leather bar was standing-room-only, a swaying mass of sweat and skin. DO get a harness. This is the fine line between consensual sex play and assault.

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